Passage

Daniel:

“Welcome to the PASSAGE workshop, PASSAGE is an experience focused on preparing you for this next stage of life, as a young man, or young woman, I want to introduce you to our workshop apprentice. This is my daughter, who just finished the fifth grade.”

Ansley:

“Hi, I'm Ansley. And I'm really excited about PASSAGE.”

Daniel:

“You know, there was certain things that you weren't trusted with when you were a child, but you will begin to be trusted with as an adult. For example, I didn't let you play with all these tools with your playhouse, or I didn't just let you hang out with a circular saw. Instead, we protected you earlier, but we want to begin preparing you to grow in knowledge and responsibility. So you can be trusted with more freedom, and more tools. You see, tools have the power to build things, or destroy things, quickly. Because it all depends on who's holding them, and the expertise of that person. At this stage of life, it's easy for you to think ‘I can do this myself, I don't need anyone's help’ or you begin to think ‘I got this.’ Well, you do... but you don't, because you only know what you've been taught at this point in life. And life gets more and more complicated as you go along. That's why our first skill that we're going to focus on in PASSAGE is humility.”

Ansley:

“Humility is willingness to see oneself rightly.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, humility is freedom from the negative side of pride. Taking pride in your work or being proud of an accomplishment is great. On the other hand, there's a type of pride that is when you're consumed or obsessed with yourself, and your own wants and needs. It can cause you to be blinded to God and others. See, pride says ‘I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and no one's gonna stop me.’ But humility says, ‘My Life impacts more people than just me. And I will answer to God and others for my decisions.’”

Ansley:

“So pride is like ‘I know at all’, but humility says ‘there's still more to learn.’”

Daniel:

“Yeah, right on. And so that's the first step we will take together, because we pray that you will be a lifelong learner, and that this PASSAGE experience will grow you in wisdom, and knowledge, because ignorance builds intimidation, but competence builds confidence. Like, have you ever used this tool?”

Ansley:

“No, I haven't.”

Daniel:

“Kind of looks scary, right?”

Ansley:

“Yeah.”

Daniel:

“Well, it's not really that scary when you know how it works. And whenever you use the proper precautions, the process normally goes like this. Learn safety, learn how it works, and then I do you watch. I do, you help. You do, I help. What do you think's next?”

Ansley:

“I do, you watch?”

Daniel:

“Yeah, you're right. And then ultimately, our hope is that you do and you teach others. You see, competence comes through learning. And learning is only possible with a teachable spirit and repetition, doing it over and over again. You see, a disciple actually simply means learner or follower. And you're my apprentice in the workshop. And we learn to apprentice under Jesus, we learn from him to live the way that He's called us to live. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

Ansley:

"'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' - James 4:6."

Daniel:

"Now life is not about you, but you have a really important part to play. Embrace humility as a lifelong learner, and watch wisdom grow in your life. Wisdom works. So let's work on humility together as we prepare for passage."

"Embrace the journey!"

Daniel:

“Welcome back to the PASSAGE workshop. In our last session, we learned that we still have a lot to learn, but as we grow in wisdom and knowledge, we grow in confidence. Confidence that our lives can be lived for something greater than ourselves as a part of a much bigger story. Last time, we learned how to use what?”

Ansley:

“A miter saw to cut wood straight and at angles.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, you're right. It's a big tool with a really useful purpose. But there's a lot of tools in the workshop. Let's look around at some of the others on the wall. Like this is an angle grinder, for cutting metal, and an impact driver for screwing in screws. And then this is a reciprocating saw. And today, we're going to use a sander. A sander has useful purpose, it can be easy to think this one is more important than others or frustrated that this doesn't do what the others do. We can easily get caught up in the same thinking in our lives when we engage in comparison. How do people normally compare themselves to others?”

Ansley:

“They compare about who is smartest, best looking, athletic, or who has more money, or is more funny, popular, taller, shorter?”

Daniel:

“Yeah, that's a lot of things we compare about. And it's not right or wrong to be or have some of these things, they can actually be a blessing from God for a specific purpose. But the danger is when we find our identity or our worth, in these things. Finding identity goes to these primary questions: "Who am I? Is my life valuable? Who am I becoming?" This is a good piece of wood that we plan to use on our project. But what if I started to write these types of words on it? 

Clumsy. 

Ugly. 

Weird. 

Alone. 

Stupid.

How do you feel about that piece of wood now?”

Ansley:

“It looks messed up, like it's no longer useful.”

Daniel:

“Where do we get these types of labels and thoughts about ourselves?”

Ansley:

“Comparison. We look around and wonder ‘Am I enough? Does my life have value? Maybe I'm not as good looking as somebody else."

Daniel:

“Yeah, but that's the danger of comparison. It's never a truly fair comparison. When we look around, we feel better or worse about ourselves compared to those around us, instead of recognizing our unique design. It's when we look up that we can ask God, ‘What do you have for my life? What do you think of me? I've messed up, can you still make something out of my life?’ Looking up and inviting God into your life will help remove the lies. Looking around, and at others, we'll either feel a sense of superiority and judgment, or, insecurity and fear based on who we look at. When we look up we realize that our identity or our value is not something to achieve, but receive. See, God crafted us on purpose for a purpose. He speaks these words from Heaven over Jesus at His baptism.”

Ansley:

"And a voice from heaven said 'this is My son whom I love with Him I am well pleased.'"

Daniel:

“And this was before Jesus did any public ministry. God's love was spoken over Jesus as His son. As we trust Jesus as our Savior, our identity is placed in Christ. These words God spoke over Jesus, He speaks over us. His desire is that you would know you are His, that He loves you, and He's pleased with you as His child. He doesn't need your work, but He invites you into more as you work alongside Him. Identity is all about knowing who you are and replacing the lies with His truth.”

Ansley:

“Beloved.

Unique.

Masterpiece. 

Chosen. 

Ambassador. 

Wow, I like that piece of wood a lot more now.”

Daniel:

“That's it for today. Keep the conversation going about identity and live free from the lies and labels. Truth is, your life really matters and you can help others embrace their true identity as well. And as you prepare for PASSAGE,”

Daniel and Ansley:

“Embrace the Journey!”

Daniel:

“Alright, let's continue our PASSAGE journey together. Today, we have to make some decisions. What blueprints or plans will we follow for our structure? The options are pretty endless, actually, with a combination of wood, paint, and fasteners. So are we building a bridge? A door? A wardrobe? I mean, maybe we could find Mr. Tumnus. Sorry, uh, Narnia joke, if that didn't connect. What do you think?”

Ansley:

“How about a PASSAGE kinda like, uh, an arch or a tunnel?”

Daniel:

“That sounds good, love that. We can actually use this blueprint paper to sketch out our plan. Each square represents a unit of measurement. And it helps us know the scale of what we will build. We need to think of the look and feel the dimensions and stability of the structure as we make our plan.”

Ansley:

“How about something like this?”

Daniel:

“I like it. But now that we have a plan, we have to stick with our plans for every measurement, every piece, and not just change our minds based on what we feel like doing in the moment.”

Ansley:

“Sounds like another metaphor to me.”

Daniel:

“Well, yeah, it definitely can be, for sure. The truth is, we all have to decide which blueprints we're following for our lives as well. Parents, you've made a choice for your family values and rhythms, and students, you're making that choice with every decision you make, the friends you choose, the activities you're involved in, and how you spend your free time. And the skills that you develop are areas that you're taking ownership of in your life.”

Ansley:

“Ownership is the act or state of possessing something.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, you're right. Your parents have made a lot of decisions for you up to this point. But as you move through this passage into young adulthood, you'll have to make a lot more decisions for yourself. Thankfully, your parents helped you with decisions like trying not to fly off the roof or eating candy for every meal. And they helped you learn how to go to sleep in a regular pattern. And you're going to make decisions on your own as simple as, ‘Do I want to eat the same foods my parents eat?’ And to like the extremes of like, ‘Do I believe the same things my parents believe?’"

Ansley:

“That feels like a big decision? How would someone just choose to believe in a different thing?”

Daniel:

“It's a good question. And the thing I've learned in life is that people don't actually make big decisions, they actually make a million little decisions that make the big decisions for them. For example, I've seen a lot of teenagers make decisions about who they hang out with. And then they start to talk about the same things, like the same things, end up pursuing these things with their time and their focus. Along the way, they didn't recognize how much they were changing from their parents, because they became more and more focused on their friends, or their boyfriends or girlfriends.”

Ansley:  

“So if my friend values or believes other things, I might end up believing what they believe.”

Daniel:

“That could definitely happen. And that's why it's really important who you choose to spend time with. However, at the end of the day, you have to own the decisions you make along the way. Jesus even challenged his disciples with a two-part question. Who do people say the Son of Man is? And they gave a variety of responses? And then,”

Ansley:

"’but what about you?' He asked, 'Who do you say I am', Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God?' Jesus replied, 'Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by My Father in Heaven’ Matthew 16:15-17.”

Daniel:

“But what about you, you have to take ownership of your faith because your parents, pastors or other people can't decide for you what to believe or how to live. You have a lot of decisions to make. But one that is most important of all, is, will I walk in the way of the world, this is often going to feel more appealing in the moment. But it ultimately leads to a temporary and self-focused life. Or will I walk in the way of Jesus? In many moments, it's going to feel more difficult to choose the eternal God-focused life. But this decision can't be made for you. And even if you choose the way of Jesus, the truth is, you're going to still feel pressure to conform to the pattern of the world around you. Taking ownership is part of this next phase of young adulthood. You will have more freedom to make decisions, but you have to own the consequences and the responsibilities of all of those decisions.”

Ansley:

“Until next time,”

Daniel: 

“Embrace the journey.”

Daniel:

“Now the fun begins! We have a plan for our PASSAGE structure, we know our tools, we bought our materials. And so now we start measuring and cutting the boards. This part is really important that we are consistent with every measurement and every cut. There are a few things you always have to remember, always use a fixed point to measure off of, make straight lines, and cut on the same side of the line every time. Let's get started.”

Ansley:

“What is that you keep using to make the line?”

Daniel:

“Oh, this? This is called a square. And it makes sure that you get a straight square line every time. Consistency really matters because if one board is longer or shorter than the other one, it won't come together and be a strong structure. We're cutting angles as well, which complicates our cuts. So, we have to flip the boards the same way every time. Again, consistency every time makes securing this together much easier, and, the structure a lot stronger.”

Ansley:  

“Consistency matters in a lot of things like school, soccer, and life as a whole I guess.”

Daniel:

“Now you're making metaphors. You're right, though. Consistency reminds me of a really important concept for young adulthood: Integrity. Integrity literally means the state of being whole or undivided. It also means the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It's actually really tempting to live a double or divided life at this stage because there are two groups whose opinions really affect you. Who do you think that is?”

Ansley:

“friends and parents?”

Daniel:

“Yeah. You know, like, young people who totally get me. And those old people who don't understand, right?”

Ansley: 

“I guess it does feel that way sometimes. But I definitely know my friends don't know everything either. Like one time, my friend tried to stand up on this very high stool and ended up on the ground.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, they don't know everything. But it's important to recognize that integrity calls us to a higher standard than just the opinions of those around us. Last session, you developed your own personal values, and integrity would call you to stick to those no matter what. Our greatest authority is God and we answer to Him for the life that we live. How much of your life do you think that God sees?” 

Ansley: 

“Everything, He's God! He's everywhere at all times.”

Daniel: 

“Right. And that's a really comforting thought. But if you're trying to get away with things you know are wrong, it's kind of terrifying as well. We like to think there's secrets and hiding that we can get away with in life. But the truth is, God always knows. And the truth always comes out. We're tempted to take shortcuts or engage in negative practices, cheating on tests, gossiping about others, telling inappropriate jokes, maybe lying to cover up our mistakes. Our integrity is tested in these negative practices, but it's also tested in positive ones as well. Like staying consistent, even when you don't feel like it. Like how much is your word worth? Do people trust you to always do what you say you will do? Truth is there's a standard we will be measured by and found to line up or not. We live one life for one audience. The equation for integrity is simple: words equal actions. If we say we value something, we live like it. No shortcuts. Listen to this simple but profound proverb.”

Ansley:

"’The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.’ Proverbs 11:3.”

Daniel:

“Integrity guides us by principles and decisions we make before we are in moments of temptation. Duplicity does whatever those around you are doing at the time. Integrity builds trust. Everyone desires to be trusted and given freedom, but few desire to do what it takes to earn trust and take responsibility. We build trust as our lives line up with who we say we are. We keep our word even when it's difficult. We don't take anything that's not given or earned. We don't do things in secret that we wouldn't talk about openly. We honor God with time online or in messaging.”

Ansley:

“Glad you brought that up. It feels like everyone has a phone or is getting one. What about me?”

Daniel: 

“Well, as you know, in our family, we have a process for that. We want to build your responsibility before we increase your freedom. Our greatest goal is that you would have unfiltered access with no time limits by the time you leave our house, because you've learned to guide yourself. However, it's going to take a process to get there, because programmers are literally trained to addict your mind to their games and their apps. Also, we want you to have conversations on your device that you would have in our living room. Devices can easily increase our duplicity, and secrecy. So we have to be careful to use them with accountability and responsibility.”

Ansley: 

“Make sense. Integrity sounds like a big deal that I want to have. But it sounds like it's hard to keep it going all the time.”

Daniel:

“You're right. I don't always get it right either. But I've learned to try to live in the light and keep returning to the light like John tells us. ‘But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son, purifies us from all sin.’ 1 John 1:7. Integrity seeks to live in the light and trust in Jesus's sacrifice to help us return to the light every time we mess up. God gives us truth to lead us and grace to meet us every step of the way. As you prepare for PASSAGE, Embrace the Journey. “

Daniel:

“We're moving along well with our PASSAGE project. We have a lot of materials, tools and a plan. Now we need to start putting it together. We need to be able to put it together and take it apart so we can transport it. Attaching the joints together between the cuts, is pretty easy. We just need to pre-drill because at the edges of the wood, it begins to get weaker.”

Ansley:

“We wanted this to be longer than just one piece of wood. How do we add pieces to the side?”

Daniel:

“Great question! The more complicated part is connecting the sides of the wood to make a tunnel, we could use a cross brace piece of wood that would screw it all together. Or we could use a specialty tool. Because normally you can't get a screw in the side without going through the whole piece of wood. Until this specialty drill jig called a Kreg Jig. This creates pocket holes, kind of like invisible screws that can pull the wood together. It's a specialty tool that you normally wouldn't use very often. But once you need it, it's kind of the only thing that can get the job done.”

Ansley:

“That reminds me of my art set. I usually use paint brushes, but there are certain times where I need a sponge.”

Daniel:

“You know, that brings me to an important question. What's the most important part of this structure? The wood? The screws? The tools? The torches?”

Ansley:

“The wood?”

Daniel:

“I can see why you would say that, because that's what will get most of the focus. But all of it works together. Without the plan, it would just be a woodpile. Without the screws, nothing would stay together. And without the wood, well, no structure.”

Ansley:

“That reminds me of identity, how we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but be who God crafted us to be.”

Daniel:

“You're right. In this session, we will talk about significance. Significance means worthy of importance. We often feel like others are more significant than we are. Or, we only see our significance and fail to encourage or notice it in others. It's easy to think that people with external or upfront styles of gifting are more important than those who have gifts that serve behind the scenes.”

Ansley:

“Just like the unseen screws that hold all this together!”

Daniel:

“Yeah, God declares us all significant, but also significantly insignificant on our own. The great story of the world is not about you. It's not about me. But we have an important part to play using our gifts for God. He's the main character, and we join in His greater story of love and purpose. Many times we can look around in comparison and say, ‘God, why did you make me like this?’ Like we're angry, like God messed up. Or we can ask the same question, ‘God, why did you make me like this?’ And we can seek His purpose and design in our lives. When we ask in anger, we carry frustration, because we would have done it differently. And this usually leads to jealousy of others and more focus on what they have and what we lack. However, the seeking question is able to celebrate the gifts of others and bring ours to our community, seeking to find a way to contribute to the good of others.”

Ansley:

“I feel that sometimes. I remember you saying celebration is the antidote to jealousy. It's good for me to encourage others instead of wishing I was like them.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, thanks for sharing that because I feel that too sometimes. In this session, we're looking at 1 Corinthians. And we learn that God made the church or community of Christians like a body. Remember, the church is the people, not the building. We don't go to church, we are the church. Just as the body has many parts that function differently. So we are uniquely designed by God as His ambassadors bringing heaven to earth. Simply put, God made you to help others see Him. You help others see the goodness of God as you use your gifts to encourage, serve, love and build others up.”

Ansley:

“How do I know my gifting? What's my important part of the body? I don't want to be an esophagus, that's pretty weird.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, you're right. That is pretty weird. But there's a couple ways you can learn that. Your personality tests may help guide you to your strengths. And it's important for you to build on your unique God design by using your strengths and developing your gifts. It's also helpful to chart significant moments in your life. You see the good times or the unique opportunities you've been given can offer joy to others. But the hard times or the most difficult moments can help you connect with others and help them in their pain to seek redemption. God will use every part of our lives as we offer them to Him as a living sacrifice.”

Ansley:

“So I can embrace my significance by asking God, ‘Why did you make me like this?’, learn my strengths, know my highs and lows, and let God lead me to use my small life for a greater purpose.”

Daniel:

“Great job. Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself. And as always…”

Embrace the Journey!

Daniel:

“We've come a long way on this project. The PASSAGE tunnel is almost ready. But we have a final step to prepare this to stand outside. It needs to be protected from the elements. What do you think could damage the wood if it stays outside?”

Ansley:

“Wind, rain, bugs, maybe bears?” 

Daniel:

“Well, I don't think we can protect it from bears, but I think we can help with the rest. Often when you buy wood from the store, you can get treated wood, which has chemicals of pressure treated into the wood to protect it against rotting and against bugs. But we're going to use an older more natural process. It's actually a Japanese art called yakisugi.”

Ansley: 

“That sounds cool. What do we do, wrap it in seaweed? Wrap it in the dirt?” 

Daniel:

“No, we're actually going to burn it.”

Ansley:

“What? Wouldn't that ruin it? I thought we were going to protect the wood from the fire.”

Daniel:

“Actually, by slightly charring the surface of the wood without burning through the whole piece. The wood becomes waterproof through carbonization and more durable. It also protects against insects as well as making the wood fire resistant.”

Ansley:

“So we burned the wood to protect it. That still sounds crazy.” 

Daniel:

“Yeah, but we've got our torch. You ready? Let's try some yakisugi?”

“You know, yakisugi is actually a really good metaphor to close with as we prepare for the PASSAGE retreat. As parents, we usually want to protect you guys from everything. And usually that means that we keep you from difficult things. As you prepare for adulthood, however, we know you're going to face challenging things in the future. And the best way we can prepare you is to allow you to go through difficult and challenging tasks while we're still with you so we can guide you. Many cultures have a rite of passage experience that's crazy. I mean, way more challenging than anything we would put you through in PASSAGE. Some tribal experiences include surviving in the wilderness, cow jumping, enduring intense pain without flinching, and even balancing on a poll overnight. Yeah, although these sound extreme, they actually remind me of yakisugi. The best way to prepare you for life is to allow you to go through the fire, not always keep you from it. It's important for you to overcome difficult tasks while you're still with us, because we want to help process it with you. This will build more confidence in you that you can handle trials and you can overcome challenges. Peter talks about this in his first letter.”

Ansley:

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine, and is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.’ 1 Peter 1:7.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, that's a great verse. But put that in your own words. What do you think that means?”

Ansley:

“Well, when we are tested or go through challenges in life, it will prove whether our faith is real or strong. It's kind of easy to trust God when everything's going well. But in the hard times, we're in the fire, it proves what is really there.”

Daniel:

“Yeah, I love it. It's been so fun to teach you how to work with me in the workshop. You now know how to use tools and to create things on your own. And you're gonna be entrusted with more as you prove faithful with each one. This final session is called empowered, because we want to prepare you to stand on your own faith foundation for the rest of your life and for generations to come.”

Ansley:

“Empowered means to have the confidence and ability to make your own decisions.”

Daniel:

“And as you walk in humility, identity and integrity, which we've been talking about in this passage process, it will prepare you to own your faith, use your gifting and empower you to stand strong through life's challenges. Peter also reminds us that we aren't alone. We're surrounded by community and empowered by the Holy Spirit.”

Ansley:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by His own glory and goodness.’ 2 Peter 1:3.”

Daniel:

“I hope you feel empowered by all of this. You have everything you need for a godly life. Now, all we have to do is get ready for the weekend. And as you pass through fire, it prepares you for the journey forward. Just like our PASSAGE tunnel will be such a great symbol of during our weekend.”

Ansley:

“It's almost here everyone!”

“Embrace the Journey!”